あげる vs くれる vs もらう
JLPT N4 vocabulary · what is the difference?
All three describe the same act of giving, seen from a different place. あげる and くれる both have the giver as the subject: あげる when the thing moves away from you to someone else, くれる when it moves toward you or your side. もらう flips the sentence so the receiver is the subject — you got it from someone. The rule is direction relative to the speaker, not politeness.
When to use each
あげる
あげる
The giver is the subject and the receiver is anyone other than you or your in-group. Use it when the thing moves away from you, or between two other people you are describing from outside.
友達に花をあげました。
ともだちにはなをあげました。
I gave my friend some flowers.
妹に本をあげるつもりです。
いもうとにほんをあげるつもりです。
I'm planning to give my little sister a book.
くれる
くれる
The giver is still the subject, but the receiver is you or someone on your side — family, your company, a close friend. The receiver is usually left unsaid, because くれる itself says it is you.
友達が本をくれました。
ともだちがほんをくれました。
My friend gave me a book.
母が弁当を作ってくれました。
ははがべんとうをつくってくれました。
My mum made me a packed lunch.
もらう
もらう
The receiver is the subject — normally you — and the giver takes に or から. Use it when you want to talk about getting something rather than about the person who gave it.
友だちにプレゼントをもらいました。
ともだちにプレゼントをもらいました。
I got a present from my friend.
駅まで送ってもらえませんか。
えきまでおくってもらえませんか。
Could you give me a lift to the station?
Sentences where only one works
姉が私にお金をくれました。
あねがわたしにおかねをくれました。
My older sister gave me money.
The money comes toward the speaker, so くれる. あげる is impossible in any sentence whose receiver is 私.
私は姉にお金をあげました。
わたしはあねにおかねをあげました。
I gave my older sister money.
Same two people, opposite direction: now the speaker is the giver, so あげる.
私は姉にお金をもらいました。
わたしはあねにおかねをもらいました。
I got money from my older sister.
The same event as the くれる sentence, but the receiver is the subject. くれる puts the spotlight on the sister's kindness; もらう simply reports that you received it.
先生が息子に本をくれました。
せんせいがむすこにほんをくれました。
The teacher gave my son a book.
The speaker is not the receiver, but the son is on the speaker's side, so it is still くれる. Using あげる here would sound as if you were an outsider to your own family.
Common mistakes
友達が私に本をあげました。
友達が私に本をくれました。
あげる can never point at the speaker. Native listeners hear this as a broken sentence, not merely an unusual one — it is the clearest marker of a beginner.
先生、これをあげます。
先生、これを差し上げます。
あげる is neutral between equals, but offering something to a teacher or a customer with あげます sounds blunt and a little above yourself. The humble 差し上げる is the safe form upward; for a pet or a plant, 水をやる is the traditional downward form.
部長、荷物を持ってあげましょうか。
部長、お荷物をお持ちしましょうか。
〜てあげる announces that you are doing the other person a favour, which is condescending toward a superior. Offer help upward with the humble お〜します, or simply 持ちましょうか.
Frequently asked questions
Is くれる just the passive of あげる?
No. In both, the giver is the subject — nothing is passive. The only difference is where the speaker stands: あげる looks outward from you, くれる looks inward toward you. The sentence that really flips the subject is もらう.
What's the difference between 手伝ってくれる and 手伝ってもらう?
手伝ってくれた says they helped me, with the focus on their kindness and no suggestion that I asked. 手伝ってもらった says I got their help, and often implies I asked for or arranged it. For requests, 手伝ってくれませんか and 手伝ってもらえませんか are both normal and roughly equally polite.
Who counts as "my side" for くれる?
Your family, your company or team, and people you are close to. If someone gives something to your child, your brother or your colleague, you still say くれる — you are speaking from inside that group. If you are narrating two strangers, use あげる instead.